We have a new brand of coffee over at the Cow Cafe\'. Be sure to drop and and talk to Edna, she\'ll grind you up the best cup you\'ve ever had! And yes, for those that like it iced, she can do that too. We also have in most of your favorite flavor shots in sugar free versions! More »
For Immediate release to all students; the following book is now mandatory reading:
I’ve been meaning to write a review for Sean T. Page’s Zombie Survival Manual for a couple of months now, but in my business this time of year gets to be very busy for me. Busy… That’s such a BS word.. busy.
Busy keeps us from doing what we really want, and in most instances need, to be doing. In the end, in the zombie apocalypse, busy gets boiled down to its most basic and simple task; survival.
The first zombie survival guide I read was Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide. It covered various topics and really set the benchmark for what other writers would attempt to convey with their own zombie survival guides in the years to come. The problem is, all of the zombie survival guides that came next were pretty much just regurgitated versions of what Max had previously done, and they weren’t that good.
A couple of months back my friend, Sean T. Page, from the Ministry of Zombies in London, sent me his own book on Zombie Survival.
Zombie Survival From the dawn of time onwards (all variations) Owners’ Workshop Apocalypse Manual.
Let me state this right here and now; this book is beyond original. Whatever benchmark Max’s book set, this one sets a new standard. First off, it’s published by Haynes. Yes, the very same Haynes that publishes all of those car manuals for you do-it-yourselfer car mechanics. I speak from experience that my two Saturn cars and my Chevy van have had their lives extended by several years due to my Haynes vehicle manuals. I point that out only to express the amount of detail that is found within the covers of Sean’s book. Simply put.. The quality is beyond exceptional.
Ian Morres does the illustrations in this book. Take some time and look up his works; the guy is a master at Information Graphics. The illustrations in this book are, like the quality, beyond exceptional. I’m not talking about a couple of drawings scattered throughout the book, no sir. I’m talking about multiple detailed illustrations on pretty much every page. It’s a feast for the eyes.
What makes this Zombie Survival manual different? Sean presents the information in a very unique way. Most books read from beginning to end. You can certainly do that with this one, but you don’t have to. It is a manual after all, and as such you can open to almost any page and devour the content without it being out of context.
It covered such topics as what a zombie is, zombies in history, how to prepare your home to defend against a zombie attack, combat techniques and much more.
Towards the end of the manual are two exams.
The first is a basic exam. Passing it grants you the knowledge of knowing what to expect when the fit hits the shan.
The second is an advanced exam. This one is less of a pass/fail but rather is more of a … how will you measure up against the zombies and what type of survivor you will become (should you survive).
Both exams come with their own Ministry of Zombies certification document. Don’t cheat yourself; learn the lesson first by reading the manual, then take the exams. This is knowledge you really need to know.
I can’t rave enough about this manual.
Read it. Absorb it. Learn what you can from it to help you survive when the zombies begin to attack.
You can thank Sean later when you run into him, his vast knowledge of zombies and survival will save your skin, all you need to do is read this manual.
It can be found on Amazon here: Zombie Survival Manual: From the dawn of time onwards (all variations)
Want a grand tour of ZombieMall Radio? Of course you do! The halls here echo with the haunting sounds of yesterday’s, today’s, and tomorrows best hits! We also have a full talk radio program filling the air-waves.
For a total tour of the facility be sure to hook up with our Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II. He’ll give you a grand tour!
In the cloak of darkness a meeting was held deep under the grounds of Zombie University and it was decided that from this point forward the Athletic team(s) would now be named the Zombie University Manglers.
Coach Browlan, along with the Professor of Infernal Fine Arts, T. Kyle Gentry, and the Vicar D. Mortii, Brian Hardin II, met last night to discuss the sports team’s name.
Coach Browlan stated, “I simply feel that our teams name in the past has been tainted with something we don’t condone. When we first named the teams the FleshMongers back in 1823, it simply meant one who deals with serving flesh. We kindav figured that it was catchy, ya know, we deal in serving the opposing team their flesh. In recent years that term came to be something, uh, ehm, to describe the ladies of the night.”
Hardin had this to say, “Not that we condemn the ladies of the night, but during games over the past few years we would notice people attending that were looking for something <em>other</em> than a sports game. We simply felt it best to change the name of the teams.”
Gentry remained silent for most of the meeting, but in the end he gave his stamp of approval; “Manglers works.”
From this point forward, as indicated in the first sentence of this article, the football team, soccer team, hockey team, golf team, all of them, will be named the Zombie University Manglers. All instances of the old name on campus (and the website) have been changed to reflect the new name.
Looking to get a head of the game? No, no pun intended, although that was pretty funny. I digress. Want to show the world your vast knowledge of all things zombie? Well, this is the place to get your Zombie University Diploma!
ZombieMall.com is our official ZU Bookstore and the diploma can be purchased directly from that site. It comes in two versions, Delux (has gilded-foil-stamped edges), and Color (fancy designed edges in any color you want).
We have a new brand of coffee over at the Cow Cafe’. Be sure to drop by and and talk to Edna, she’ll grind you up the best cup you’ve ever had! And yes, for those that like it iced, she can do that too. We also have in most of your favorite flavor shots in sugar free versions!
Tired of Zombie University Security harassing you when you drive onto campus? Now all you need is to place the FREE Parking Pass in your window and they will leave you be! Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II, had this to say:
<em>”Even I was not immune to Security, I can’t begin to count how many times over the years I’ve been stopped and I run this University! Finally now I can park where I need to park and not be harassed! It’s about damn time!”</em>
Students can pick up their pass at the University Center, just flash your Student ID.
In ancient Roman religion, the Manes were the souls of deceased loved ones.
The word was also used as a metaphor to refer to the underworld.
Manes is derived from “an archaic adjective manus—good—which was the opposite of immanis”.
The Manes were offered blood sacrifices. The gladiatorial games, originally held at funerals, may have been instituted in the honor of the Manes.
Seeing as Manes Field currently sits atop an anchient cemetary, it seemed only fitting that it be given the name it has.
Old tombstones can be spotted throughout the Stadium, and on the Eastern most 10 yard line, burried about 6 feet down it is rumored that the lapis manalis, gate to the underworld, is burried.
Bright and early yesterday the tee-off took place in the University’s first ever Golf competition. But the opposing team, the Mongbats, evidently arrived with no golf balls. More than happy to oblige, Coach Browlan purchsed half a case from the University Bookstore and gave them to the Mongbats. Balls went flying at about 7:00 AM, with the Zombie University Manglers pulling out ahead by only 3 strokes at the end of the day.
“Golf has been up and down for us for years. As long as I can get them to stretch and limber up, we usually play a good game.” Coach Browlan stated.
Hockey has always been a difficult sport for our University. After loosing 4 games in a row in which we managed to not make a single goal, we finally managed to score 1 goal in game 5. The goal came 23 minutes into the game. We still lost.
Practice makes perfect?