Category Archives: ZU Campus News
For Immediate release to all students; the following book is now mandatory reading:
I’ve been meaning to write a review for Sean T. Page’s Zombie Survival Manual for a couple of months now, but in my business this time of year gets to be very busy for me. Busy… That’s such a BS word.. busy.
Busy keeps us from doing what we really want, and in most instances need, to be doing. In the end, in the zombie apocalypse, busy gets boiled down to its most basic and simple task; survival.
The first zombie survival guide I read was Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide. It covered various topics and really set the benchmark for what other writers would attempt to convey with their own zombie survival guides in the years to come. The problem is, all of the zombie survival guides that came next were pretty much just regurgitated versions of what Max had previously done, and they weren’t that good.
A couple of months back my friend, Sean T. Page, from the Ministry of Zombies in London, sent me his own book on Zombie Survival.
Zombie Survival From the dawn of time onwards (all variations) Owners’ Workshop Apocalypse Manual.
Let me state this right here and now; this book is beyond original. Whatever benchmark Max’s book set, this one sets a new standard. First off, it’s published by Haynes. Yes, the very same Haynes that publishes all of those car manuals for you do-it-yourselfer car mechanics. I speak from experience that my two Saturn cars and my Chevy van have had their lives extended by several years due to my Haynes vehicle manuals. I point that out only to express the amount of detail that is found within the covers of Sean’s book. Simply put.. The quality is beyond exceptional.
Ian Morres does the illustrations in this book. Take some time and look up his works; the guy is a master at Information Graphics. The illustrations in this book are, like the quality, beyond exceptional. I’m not talking about a couple of drawings scattered throughout the book, no sir. I’m talking about multiple detailed illustrations on pretty much every page. It’s a feast for the eyes.
What makes this Zombie Survival manual different? Sean presents the information in a very unique way. Most books read from beginning to end. You can certainly do that with this one, but you don’t have to. It is a manual after all, and as such you can open to almost any page and devour the content without it being out of context.
It covered such topics as what a zombie is, zombies in history, how to prepare your home to defend against a zombie attack, combat techniques and much more.
Towards the end of the manual are two exams.
The first is a basic exam. Passing it grants you the knowledge of knowing what to expect when the fit hits the shan.
The second is an advanced exam. This one is less of a pass/fail but rather is more of a … how will you measure up against the zombies and what type of survivor you will become (should you survive).
Both exams come with their own Ministry of Zombies certification document. Don’t cheat yourself; learn the lesson first by reading the manual, then take the exams. This is knowledge you really need to know.
I can’t rave enough about this manual.
Read it. Absorb it. Learn what you can from it to help you survive when the zombies begin to attack.
You can thank Sean later when you run into him, his vast knowledge of zombies and survival will save your skin, all you need to do is read this manual.
It can be found on Amazon here: Zombie Survival Manual: From the dawn of time onwards (all variations)
Want a grand tour of ZombieMall Radio? Of course you do! The halls here echo with the haunting sounds of yesterday’s, today’s, and tomorrows best hits! We also have a full talk radio program filling the air-waves.
For a total tour of the facility be sure to hook up with our Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II. He’ll give you a grand tour!
Looking to get a head of the game? No, no pun intended, although that was pretty funny. I digress. Want to show the world your vast knowledge of all things zombie? Well, this is the place to get your Zombie University Diploma!
ZombieMall.com is our official ZU Bookstore and the diploma can be purchased directly from that site. It comes in two versions, Delux (has gilded-foil-stamped edges), and Color (fancy designed edges in any color you want).
We have a new brand of coffee over at the Cow Cafe’. Be sure to drop by and and talk to Edna, she’ll grind you up the best cup you’ve ever had! And yes, for those that like it iced, she can do that too. We also have in most of your favorite flavor shots in sugar free versions!
Tired of Zombie University Security harassing you when you drive onto campus? Now all you need is to place the FREE Parking Pass in your window and they will leave you be! Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II, had this to say:
<em>”Even I was not immune to Security, I can’t begin to count how many times over the years I’ve been stopped and I run this University! Finally now I can park where I need to park and not be harassed! It’s about damn time!”</em>
Students can pick up their pass at the University Center, just flash your Student ID.
September 9th will see our traditional Rise of the Dead party on the eastern shore of Crystal Lake. Be sure to bring your blankets, a nice late night snack and your flashlights. The party begins at 10:00 PM and lasts until 3:00 AM.
The Fall Semester is due to kick off on August 31st, but campus will be open on August 10th to allow students to explore the new buildings and pick up their books and schedule of classes. The ZombieMall Bookstore will open on August 17th.
In a press release today, ZombieMall.com announced its plans for radio broadcasting saying in addition to being the University’s Official Bookstore, it will also be the University’s Official Radio Station.
Along with the announcement, ZombieMall.net was formed as the house for the radio station website.
Our groundskeeper has never seen this door before.
I’ve been here since 1822, hell, I built the damn building this door is attached to and not even I have ever seen this before!
It appears to descend down into a deep abyss. Light won’t penetrate it; not even those little green glows sticks will allow us to see into this pitch.
Our only other option is to send a troll down there and have him report back to us. We just gotta find one that can speak somewhat intelligently.
Until then all we can do is rope it off and hope no-one stumbled in there.