Zombie University

Zombie University to give away FREE Parking Pass

Brian Hardin II — Sun, 09 May 2010 18:07:06 +0000

Tired of Zombie University Security harassing you when you drive onto campus? Now all you need is to place this FREE Parking Pass in your window and they will leave you be! Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II, had this to say:

“Even I was not immune to Security, I can’t begin to count how many times over the years I’ve been stopped and I run this University! Finally now I can park where I need to park and not be harassed! It’s about damn time!”

You can download yours for FREE here: Zombie University Parking Pass Front & Zombie University Parking Pass Back

All you need to do is cut along the dotted lines. For a better look and to prevent bleed-through print on card stock.

History of Manes Field

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 17:53:04 +0000

In ancient Roman religion, the Manes were the souls of deceased loved ones.

The word was also used as a metaphor to refer to the underworld.

Manes is derived from “an archaic adjective manus—good—which was the opposite of immanis”.

The Manes were offered blood sacrifices. The gladiatorial games, originally held at funerals, may have been instituted in the honor of the Manes.

Seeing as Manes Field currently sits atop an anchient cemetary, it seemed only fitting that it be given the name it has.

Old tombstones can be spotted throughout the Stadium, and on the Eastern most 10 yard line, burried about 6 feet down it is rumored that the lapis manalis, gate to the underworld, is burried.

Soccer Sadness, heads won’t roll

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:51:17 +0000

Three home games in and it was finally time to take it on the road. While the Fleshmongers took to the field and ended up winning, it was not as fun as the home games usually are.

“We use heads when we play, at University of Zealoff, they used an actual soccer ball. We just were not prepared for it. We only won by 1 goal.” Stated Number 17, Greg Knoffler.

The next game is scheduled in three days and will be a home game.

ZUF allows other team to play with their balls

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:46:51 +0000

Bright and early yesterday the tee-off took place in the University’s first ever Golf competition. But the opposing team, the Mongbats, evidently arrived with no golf balls. More than happy to oblige, Coach Browlan purchsed half a case from the University Bookstore and gave them to the Mongbats. Balls went flying at about 7:00 AM, with the Fleshmongers pulling out ahead by only 3 strokes at the end of the day.

“Golf has been up and down for us for years. As long as I can get them to stretch and limber up, we usually play a good game.” Coach Browlan stated.

Zombies on Ice, not a pretty site

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:35:15 +0000

Hockey has always been a dificult sport for our University. After loosing 4 games in a row in which we managed to not make a single goal, we finally managed to score 1 goal in game 5. The goal came 23 minutes into the game. We still lost.

Practice makes perfect?

Fleshmongers Football Final Game 31 – 7

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:31:29 +0000

In the final game of the season, the Zombie University Fleshmongers score a whopping 31 points against the Vampire College Bloodletters. The VCB managed to score 7 points during the 3rd quarter.

It’s hard to run without shoes

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:27:56 +0000

After cleaning up the track around Manes Field from the recent reconstruction, three pairs of track shoes were found. The strange thing is they are dated back to the 1922 year’s Track Team. They were found in a box located in the basement, tucked away under layers upon layers of rotting tarp. The shoes are in pristine condition. They will be placed into the trophy case at the entrace of the track for all to see.

FleshMongers Basketball Undefeated

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:23:20 +0000

Having played 4 game so far this season, the Zombie University Fleshmongers Basketball team has gone undefeated so far this season. Looking to get a seat in the Conference should be a shoe in this year. Coach Browlan has stated time and again how proud he is of the team. When asked about the competition he states:

“We’ll eat up the competition, no team is better suited to play this game better than us.”

Game 5 is scheduled in two weeks with the Fleshmongers playing ACLU.

Football: Prank or Warning?

Brian Hardin II — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:18:08 +0000

For years there has been a major rival between the Zombie University Fleshmongers and the Vampire College Bloodletters. Last Thursday one of the ZUF footballs was mailed to the Athletic Department. It was flat and had been punctured by two small holes. Along with the football was a note, it read: Next season you will all sleep for eternity!”

Not knowing if this was a prank or a warning, ZUF Coach Browlan, had this to say:

“It’s got to be a prank. Surely they (the vampires of VC) know that zombies can’t die? Surely they know zombies can’t be infected by a vampire’s bite? I mean, right?”

One thing’s for sure, we cannot wait for next football season to start up!

Rise of the Dead

Brian Hardin II — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:20:21 +0000

September 9th will see our traditional Rise of the Dead party on the eastern shore of Crystal Lake. Be sure to bring your blankets, a nice late night snack and your flashlights. The party begins at 10:00 PM and lasts until 3:00 AM.